If you’ve made the all-important first phone call, you’re probably wondering, “Can I get my ex back and keep her?” There was a reason you broke up, and you’re no doubt worried that those old problems will come back to tear the two of you apart again once you’re back together.

For a guy who’s not careful or thoughtful, this MAY be the inevitable reality of the situation. It’s easy to get her back, but repairing your relationship and making it stronger than ever takes a bit more work. You’re one of the fortunate few who has a chance at real lifelong happiness with your ex, because you’re here. That says that getting her back is important to you, important enough that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to work on your relationship. We know you don’t want to lose her again, and we’re going to walk you through it so you never have to say, “I want my ex back!” again!

After the first phone call is when the real work of winning back your ex begins. If you’ve done it right, you’ve planted a seed in her mind of remembering the good times she had with you. Nostalgia, and the inevitable memories of your positive traits will soon fill her mind, and she’ll find herself wanting to call you. She may not be ready for the two of you to be a couple again yet, but she’ll want to hear your voice and be in contact with you. This works to your advantage.

It may be just a day, or a week or more before she calls. When she does, however, you’ve got to be prepared. Above all else, keep it cool! Avoid any topics that you know get the two of you arguing. Also avoid any topics that may cause tension, such as the reasons you broke up. If she brings up any potentially touchy subjects, try to gently steer the conversation in another direction. If she insists, just gently say that you don’t want to argue with her, you just want to be her friend, and that it’s too soon to talk about those things if you want to maintain a friendship. She’ll appreciate your sensitivity.

As with the first conversation, keep it light. Any conflict at all in this stage of the reconciliation can wreck your chances of a reunion. Talk to her like you would if you were one of her girlfriends (but be manly about it!). Ask her about her day and her friends and her job. If the conversation goes well (and you’ll know if it is), it’s time to make an important move.

Casually ask if she’d like to meet you for coffee (or for lunch or for a donut or any kind of small meal) in the next day or two. Chances are she will.

Congratulations! You’re about to have your first face to face meeting since the break-up!

In the next few posts, we’ll be discussing what to do and say during your face-to-face meeting, as well as what to do if she doesn’t call you within a week of your first phone call.

“Can I get my ex back?” You’re well on your way to doing it now!

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